spice up your relationship

Wednesday, 17 December 2014

10 Reasons and solution to marital delay

Several factors could cause marital delay  in the life of single person; which areare written below
10 Reason for marital delay. According to the complete Christian dictionary, marital delay means the state of someone to put off to a later time in getting married.

(1) OVER SELECTIVE : one of the challenges in making choice is having so many options. The truth is that those experiencing marital delay now had many proposal and admirers when they are at the prime of their age and beauty (age 18-26). However they are too selective and particular about the shortcomings of those seeking for a relationship. This continue over time and they find themselves in the waiting list. Now the issue is that the young ladies are too selective and exploiting, and the men just refuses to come around they are too selective and exploiting. Don't just marry anyone who come your way but be careful of being too selective. 
SOLUTION: Don't be too selective when you want to choose the right partner. Ways to get the right partner is by communicating with God, how? By praying to him and listening  to him through reading the word of God. God tells you who he has chosen to become your husband or wife.Benefit of getting the right partner is that he or she becomes an help mate to achieving God's plan and ministry (destiny) for your life.
Reason  for marital delay (2) HIGH STANDARD; some still suffer late marriage not because they are not in their prime of age and beauty but because of the high standard they are,looking for. some of this standard are university degree,high standard of living, a good paying job in a repeatable organization, wealthy family background, top position in office or society, high level of spirituality_,tall and heavily built, long hair pointed nose and among other,which cannot be easily found in one person. This is one of the key problem causing delay marriage. 
Solution : If all you considered in getting your husband or wife is standard then you might be heading to picking the wrong person the main standard to check is if he  is God's  plan for you.
Reason for marital delay(3) :EXCESSIVE CAREER FOCUS ;

Friday, 13 June 2014

what love

The purpose of this chapter is to document social science research on love, with an emphasis on social psychological contributions. The chapter begins with the fundamental question: What is love? Laypeople's and social scientists' answers to this question are presented, including Berscheid's (2010) recent model that delineates four basic kinds of love: romantic/passionate love, companionate love, compassionate love, and attachment love. The focus then shifts to measurement of the kinds of love specified in Berscheid's model. Scales that assess beliefs and conceptions of these types of love, as well as those that measure the experience of these kinds of love, are presented. I then turn to research on individual (gender, personality) and cultural differences in conceptions and the experience of the four kinds of love. The final section of the chapter is devoted to the relational implications of conceptions and the experience of love, including the relation between love and relationship satisfaction, the relation between love and commitment, and the role of love in the deterioration and dissolution of relationships. The chapter ends with a discussion of future directions for research on this important topic.



Monday, 14 April 2014

Good relationship

Good relationship or marriage is not by luck or by chance. Paul is here to keeps you updated on good relationship tips, financial issues in relationship, in general success in relationship.   It actually increases your awareness and intelligence about relationship.
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OTHER  IMPORTANT INFORMATION
10 reasons and solutions to martial delay 

how to have a quality and healthy Relationship

Hanging a good relationship

    1
    Revive date-night. Going on dates, even if you've been in a relationship for years, is still important. In fact, it's especially important for couples who have been together long enough to grow comfortable. Try to go on a date at least once every month. Some couples make it a priority to go on one date every week.
        If you're having trouble imagining date ideas, try recreating a date you had with your partner early on in your courtship. Do exactly the same thing(s), or put a spin on the date by reinventing it in a significant way.
        Do something new and exciting. Doing something that gets your blood flowing and your heart rate up enhances feelings of togetherness between partners. If you're feeling brave, go on dates that makes you feel like a kid all over again: going to a comedy club, taking a cooking class, or test-driving a new car, to name only a few.
    Have a Healthy Relationship
    2
    Practice forgiveness. Forgiveness is a decision of letting go of the past and focusing on the present. It's about taking control of your current situation, as you must offer it to your partner as much as you demand it from them.
        Remember who forgiveness really benefits. Forgiving your partner absolves him or her, but it also frees you from carrying around anger and resentment. Don't view it as an entirely altruistic act — it's something you're doing for both of you.
    Have a Healthy Relationship
    3
    Laugh together. Laugh at one another with the security of love. Laughter helps the world go 'round, and it may with your relationship, too. Laughter helps your body burn calories, increase blood flow, strengthen the immune system, and lowers blood sugar levels.[1] Laughter can be comforting, infectious, or an aphrodisiac, and many things in between. Don't forget to laugh.
   
    4
    Support each other. Being supportive means making your partner's happiness and well-being a priority, in ways big and small. Keep in mind that part of why you're together in the first place is that you're each other's biggest fans, so make sure you act like it. Try demonstrating your support in these ways:
        Be a good listener. If your partner needs you to lend an ear, do it willingly. You don't always need to come up with a solution, just support.
        Offer encouragement. If your partner is trying to make a positive change, start a new hobby, or undertake a difficult challenge, be his or her biggest cheerleader.
        Provide a safe place. Allow your partner to be vulnerable in front of you without fear of judgment.

    5
    Devote time to each other. Make spending time with your partner a priority, even if it's a little inconvenient at first. Relationships need shared experiences to grow, and you're demonstrating that nurturing yours is important to you.
        Take up a hobby. Learning something new together can help you grow closer, as well as discovering a leisure activity you both enjoy. Try sports like tennis or basketball, learning a new language, cooking, crafting, or whatever else you've been wanting to try.
        Find small ways to serve each other. Doing small acts of service for your partner shows that you're aware of what he or she needs, and you're willing to help out. It doesn't have to be an extravagant gesture: make dinner, take care of a small errand, or offer a foot rub at the end of the day. Don't make it a big deal, and don't automatically expect payback.

    6
    Develop better communication. Most people aren't born great communicators — it's something nearly everyone has to work at. The way you talk to your partner might seem small, but you do it several times a day and it does have an effect. Consider these fixes:
        Don't use directive language. Try to keep phrases like "you should" or "you can't" out of your relationship. You and your partner are equals, and neither one of you should have the authority to direct the other.
        Relay your expectations. If you expect your partner to do something, say it. Don't expect that he or she should read your mind, and don't rely on hints. Being clear about what you want gives your partner a fair shot at succeeding. (And keep the above point in mind: instead of "You should take the garbage out every day," say "I'd really like it if you took the garbage out every day.")
        Say "please" and "thank you." You should be able to let loose around your partner, so there's no need to worry about having impeccable manners all the time. The exception to this is asking nicely and expressing gratitude when your partner does something — don't just assume he or she knows how you meant it.
        Fight fair. Don't just let all these good communication skills go out the window during an argument. Try to get your point across in a loving, respectful way that doesn't seek to hurt your partner. If he or she insists on yelling or throwing insults, quietly request a calmer attitude. OTHER  IMPORTANT INFORMATION

  Have a Healthy Relationship

how to have a healthy relationship





Sometimes relationships can seem like a lot of work until you sit back and realize just how much you've been given. A thriving, healthy relationship requires some give and take, and is absolutely within your reach if you and your partner are willing to do a bit of work. If you and your partner are right for each other, all the work will definitely be worth it in the long run.
Part 1 of 2: Things You Must Do Independently

    1
    Take responsibility for your own happiness. Save yourself several hours of arguing by remembering this one rule: it's not up to anyone else to make you happy. In a relationship your partner will try to please you and make you happy but in the end you are responsible for your happiness.
 
    2
    Make good on your words. Follow through on your promises. When you say you're going to do something, do it. Don't say that you'll cook dinner, or get a birthday present, and then blow it off or simply forget about it. What this does is systematically destroy trust. And relationships need trust in order to thrive.
    Have a Healthy Relationship
    3
    Admit your mistakes. If you know you've done something to hurt your partner, intentionally or not, own up to it. Humble yourself and apologize sincerely, without making excuses or justifications like "I'm sorry you made me angry."
        Commit to changing your behavior. If you notice yourself apologizing for the same mistake over and over, step it up a level. Tell your partner that you recognize this mistake keeps happening, and you want to train yourself to stop. Request help and ask for him or her to gently point it out to you when you're making this mistake again.
    Have a Healthy Relationship
    4
    Be realistic. Every relationship

Thursday, 30 January 2014

how to have a satisfying relationship

                      Ways to develop a deeper and More  satisfying relationship
One of the problem women faces in a relationship is that men don't  empathize with them or listen to them.they don't want to talk when they needed to hear from them. men also faces the problem of how intrusting women feel about them. these are the below ways to solve these problem.
when a woman want a man to talk she should not expect the man to initiate a conversation.To initiate a conversation she should be the one to start the discussion even if her partner has nothing to say. when a man has nothing to say, and is appreciated for lightening he will definitely say something.
for example faith could say James  would u listen to me for a while?i have an issue to talk about and if would make me feel better if u could listen. After faith had talk for a few minute she could pause and say i really appreciate when u listen to me it means a lot to me. He automatically feels happy for been appreciated and he sees the value of talk even if he does not want to.
Without appreciation or encouragement he may loose interest because he feels he his just listening and as though doing nothing.
Men are people who appreciate power, ability, success, accomplishment. They feel fulfilled when they accomplish  their goals by them self. That is why when u talk to them about what to do they feel embarrassed, they feel they don't know what to door they are not capable. Giving advice takes matters worse and also ,make them fell incapable or unloving.
Allow them to think about  it by them self in other to get solution. Thy could either ask professional bodies.when they get the result they become loving the way they use to be.

6 key on how to make my relationship work out

Am sure after you are true with the reading of this writing, it would make u have wearness on how to have a good relationship.

     most complain women have about men is that men don't listen or don't like to share their feelings so that they could help solve them. men also complain than women are ungrateful, they are trying to change them, they don't appreciate them or make them feel needed. all these problem makes relationship unstable.

These below writing are secret to having a good relationship. 

1. men belief they are people of power,efficiency. They value achievement and competency. They make sure they prove their power, ability and skills.They also experience fulfillment or achievement through accomplishment and success. Achieving these goals is a way of proving their competency,so someone else cannot achieve them for him. these are the reason why men refuse to be corrected or told what to be done. To offer or give advice is presumed to them than they don't knew what to do. Allow then to think about their problem. They either solve it for themselves or seek external advice from friends or expert.Then they becoming loving the way they use to be.

2. women value love, empathy, communication, beauty, relationship. They take time to support and nurture their husband about things to do or not.Not knowing men feel controlled, untrusted, unloving.

3. If a man does dot understand a women it can make matters worse while he thinks he is trying to help. Women talks about their problem to get relieved of it and not always to get solution from men,while her husband helps by interrupting and trying to offer solution.

4: A man needs to understand that when a woman is upset and she try to share her feelings she needs to be heard so as to relive her anger.

5: a woman also need to understand that men needs to be appreciated for him listening.this appreciation makes him see or feel the value of talking even though he does not want to talk..

6: understanding each other makes a relationship positive.

OTHER  IMPORTANT INFORMATION